Hey family! This might be a long one so be prepared.
I’m thankful for a chance to be able to make my own decisions. I’m also thankful for the chance to want to better myself when something I make doesn’t turn out like I had planned.
Right now i’m at the point where I want to move out of where I am at and get into a different aspect of my field. We shall see how things’ll go.
I had an a-ha moment today: I realized that I call people for the crap but never for any progress i’ve made. I admit, I can be VERY impatient at times and I can be a bit of a handful when it comes to getting what I want. Nevertheless, I use it as a way to try and better myself. I have to constantly remind myself that I don’t want to end up like the Children of Israel and wait 40 years for something that’s right around the corner.
I don’t have 40 years.
I was told earlier that I shouldn’t put myself on a time limit but I have a LOT that I would LOVE to accomplish. I know i’ll have plenty of time to accomplish what I want but what I DO NOT want is to stay in a place where I am not happy. I’d like to go someplace where I can be happy and grow but these days, it’s nothing more than a pipedream. My mentors were right, no matter where you go, you’ll go through hardships. Good times don’t last long but neither do bad times.
From now on, i’m going to try and talk about the progress i’ve made and see if that changes anything spiritually and mentally.
Right now, i’m thankful for my higher ups giving me a chance to edit a sizzle reel for a group of 100 people. He even said he wants to pay me for it because “we can’t pay you at home”. I always said I wanted to get paid for my work so here’s my chance. I have NOTHING to prove to anyone other than myself so i’m going to quit trying to impress the higher ups with what I am able to do.
I’d say this is a great start.
Back in late April, I moved to Abilene, Texas (about 2.5 hours west of the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex) to FINALLY start my career in video/media production. Previously I was living in Paju, South Korea, working as a teacher and doing video/media pro-bono for a K-pop website. I was under the impression that coming back from such a HUGE media market in the world and coming to a small town to “learn” new things in a small town would net me a chance at working full time.
I didn’t know how wrong I was.
I’ve been here four months and i’m still stuck in the same position. The good thing about this i’m out of my folks house (again) and i’m really living out on my own. The not so good thing is i’m struggling to barely make it on such low wages.
The REALLY bad thing about this is all of this time, i’ve been living on a fixed mindset on how I was the best in what I do. I haven’t even scratched the surface on how to properly work in corporate media. Working for a website vs. working in live television is apples and oranges. I went in thinking with everything I knew at that moment, I could work in the back in creative services within three months. September is almost here and i’m STILL working as a production assistant.
There’s a Korean pop group called 2NE1 and they have a song called “I am the best”. I like that song a lot cause there’s so much energy and it’s a perfect bragging song. As time went on, I went from feeling like the best to feeling like that song by “rapper” Future (if you don’t know, it’s “S*it”).
Through it all, I had a moment of clarity when my mom had told me something that made me mad. She said something along the lines of having to do things different when you move to a different aspect of your career. She explained what the bible verse “renewing your mind” means. It was harsh the way she put it but it was necessary.
If I want to grow, i’ll have to have thicker skin and i’ll have to learn how to listen to others that know what the heck they’re talking about.
I’ll have to grow in my craft and in my mindset. The higher up at my job said that I have great ideas but terrible craftsmanship. What’s funny is the day I was told that, a higher up at my second job told me to “stick to one thing that you are good at and improve on it every day”. I realized that operating a camera isn’t exactly my strong suit. Editing is my bread and butter and so i’m going to stick to that.
Moving here and learning new things is awfully similar to when I first moved to South Korea in 2012. I thought I was a great teacher because of my past experience but I had to learn new techniques in a new place. The same applies here also (you’d THINK I would have learned by now).
I read art of change and I related what this guy went through to my life and I had a bit of clarity. I didn’t realize I was comparing myself to other vloggers in Korea and killing off any chances I had of growth.
The great thing about me moving to a small town and working in a small market is I now know 100% that I do NOT like working in live production. Back when I was in college, I worked in live internet sports production and that was fun for a time; it was fun cause it was easier than what i’m doing now. Since i’m now working for a major network, I realize working live isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I belong in post production and so i’m going to learn what I can from these folks before I leave.
Renewing my mindset starts today.
Hey family! I decided to update the HECK out of my previous reel and this is the end result. It’s quick, to the point, and I make note of what i’ve done in South Korea and Japan during 2013!